This week I had the privilege to share with a mom who is expecting her first little boy. She has already done something I could never do...had a girl. But now she is anxiously awaiting a son and instinctively knows life is about to dramatically change. Here is what I shared at her baby shower:
Having three boys doesn’t
make me an exclusive expert on raising boys and I’m certainly not better at
it than anyone else who could share today.
But I’ll share what I know and hope it encourages your heart.
Sometimes
because of their zest for life boys get a bad rap. Dr. Dobson says in Bringing
up Boys, “one of the scariest aspects of raising boys is their tendency to risk
life and limb for no good reason. It begins very early. If a toddler can climb on it, he will jump
off it. He careens out of control toward tables, tubs, pools, steps, trees and
streets….” (P. 4).
After having three of my own boys to observe up close
I have divided and labeled their development stages into my own categories.
0-12 months - Eat-Sleep-Poop-Drool Stage
12-18 months- Hunter and Gatherer Stage (as
named by hubby)- when they see how many matchbox cars, etc. they can carry at
once and keep from any other little people within the vicinity.
18-24 months - Seek and Destroy (self
explanatory) Actually given my older boys' (and husband's) affinity for
watching things fall down and blow up I'm pretty sure this stage lasts a
lifetime.
24-36 months - All the Ability and NONE of
the Common-Sense Stage. Case in point just the other day Thing 3 took a screw
driver, walked over to an outlet and tried to insert it! Arghhhhh! Just trying
to keep him alive is taking up most of my time!
Mixed in
there somewhere and beyond are the lovely "Why?" stage and the
"Watch Me!" stage that continue on for many fun filled years to come!
:)
I’ll admit they drive me crazy with their
noise and energy and determination to kill themselves with their reckless
behavior. But as a mom let me encourage
you to see the design behind their different behaviors. That determination to conquer will turn into
leadership to take on difficult things as a husband and father. That sense of
adventure will keep your life exciting…and will be an attractive characteristic
to your future daughter in law. That
drive to discover, build and invent…weapons…could be the future engineer
emerging for some great device this world needs!
Currently Thing 1 is sequestering every toilet paper roll and scrap cardboard he can get his hands on to build a new fortress. Ever since he could put two blocks together as a toddler he has been building. Some days I focus on what's important and ask him about the slides, escape pods and weapon pads he has built into his creations. I point out his God-given passion to build and remind him that God likes to build too. Other days I only see the mess and remind him to clean it up - again!
My absolute favorite Bible verse for raising children is
Is. 40:11 – He gently leads those that are with young. This especially encouraged me when I was in
the infant and toddler seasons. On those
crazy days (and nights) when I could barely keep my eyes open and I felt so far
behind on everything I remembered this verse.
Jesus knows that life has to move at a much slower pace when you are
leading little ones. And if you try and
keep going at full adult speed you will all be crabby and disgruntled when you
arrive.
I hear grace in that verse. Grace for the days I can’t seem to fit in
cleaning, time to read and pray – or even shower! Grace that Jesus is right
there with me, leading me as I lead my own.
I remember one time I was busy on the phone and noted that two boys
probably about 3 AND 1 had gotten very quiet for way too long. I found them with markers and one boy had
willingly been decorated head to toe – NOTHING left uncolored with them. I took a deep breath and a quick photo and
sent them both to the bathtub. The
artist got the job of cleaning off his canvas.
I removed all the markers from our house and only bought washable ones
for the next several years.
Boys will keep you on your toes for sure. And they keep you running to Jesus for extra
energy, patience, wisdom and another set of eyes just to keep them alive is
always in need!
I think that something unique about raising boys is that
you are really raising them for another woman someday. I spend years training them to be
responsible, caring, and serve others.
Secretly I’m think of this as future daughter in law points. I hope she appreciates that her husband
someday will clear his dishes, unload the dishwasher and take out the
trash. And I hope that translates into
her wanting me in her life...like maybe living next door!
I remember a wonderful stage with my
first son where he could sit up and be entertained but not yet crawl. Then came along his determined little brother
who skipped that stage all together and was crawling at lightning speed by 6
months. As soon as they can, and earlier than you really want, they start
moving away from you. But those little steps away are so very important. Those
little boy legs sticking out from that big backpack on the first day of school will
carry him confidently to run, jump, interact and discover what life is like apart
from mom.
As a mom of a boy you have a very
special bond and a very special job. You
get to raise him into the man God has designed him to be, Building up his self
confidence, teaching right from wrong, pointing out the special talents God has
given him. I love the special bond I have with my boys and I love
raising them into the men they are becoming.
I love that they pick flowers for me, occasionally play with my hair – I
may or may not have even read extra chapters of Captain Underpants to them in
order to encourage the hair playing. I
love that they want to snuggle and be tucked in, even at age 10. I love that they are often up a tree and
bringing me treasures to hold like rocks and sticks. I love that even though they think girls are
gross they still love to hold my hand and give me kisses. I know you will enjoy all these things as
more with your own special little guy.
