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Butterflies, Koopa's and Pre-K

The last couple of weeks have been full of many different things. Thing 2 started Pre-K three afternoons a week and would love to move right onto college if I'd let him! He is very social and is always very anxious to get into the mix of things outside of home. He didn't even turn around and wave goodbye to hubby on his first day of school...ok then, confident and self assured, check! Yet still able to keep himself from jumping off the furniture - uncheck! Note the broken arm, the result of flying a bit too high off the couch two weeks ago. Thankfully he is a fast healer and just got his splint off yesterday.


The Things have also been busy catching butterflies and caterpillars, frogs and toads in our backyard. It is pretty fun raising them in a little bit of country. Eating copious amounts of raspberries and soaking up the last warm days of fall has also consumed their time.
Why, yes, Thing 2 does have a duct taped spiky box on his back...when he sees a box he sees his next project. This was his Koopa outfit that he made almost entirely by himself. (yay for independent projects!). It is amazing how many weapons and costumes can be made out of cardboard and duct tape. I had no idea!



Thing 3 is learning about a few important things in life - but just warming up to the idea really. Nothing major is underway in those departments.



After nearly 11 years of marriage and one month on sabbatical Hubby was finally able to finish off our bed frame that he started when we were engaged. It is absolutely beautiful and makes me want to sleep even more than chasing 3 boys does! Not sure if that is a good side effect but I'm not complaining.




A friend offered us some tickets to a football game and we had a great time! The Things mostly scurried around putting the cushions on the bleachers up and down but we did get to watch some of the game! It was not too cold yet to enjoy and fun to just be out as a family. Though admittedly after half-time I'd had my fill of squirrely boys and longed for that nice warm bed, so hubby got to take in the second half with his friends without us. All parties were happy with this arrangement.




Last week we were very blessed by some very good friends to go to CO last week without our kiddos. I'm somewhat proud (or should I be embarrassed) to say that it took a tribe to replace me for 3 1/2 days but it was really quite easy to line up all the volunteers to keep Things in order while we were away. Hubby and I attended an intense 3 day workshop assessing our giftings, values and personality types. We left having processed a lot individually and together and with a clearer picture of what we bring to the table and how to best apply it in our ministry. Thanks again to all the brave souls - esp. the two who stayed the nights with our boys - we couldn't have done it without you! And we hope all that time with our precious Things doesn't delay too much any parenting plans of your own! :)

Dinosaurs and Hypotheses

Thing 1 starts first grade last week! Sigh, sniff, sigh...that was me. "It's MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!"...that was him when I woke him up.

His teacher is super great! We scored two years in a row now with wonderful teachers! Which is making it hard for me to build my case that he should stay home all day with me...more sighing.

He get's his own desk - no more round tables. Very exciting!


It was hard to be sad with that face beaming up at me!



I asked him if he liked his teacher. "Yes."
I dug further, "What do you like about her?"
Pause. Silence. "Umm, I don't have any observations about her yet!"

Okay then. Last week he correctly used the word "hypothesis" so I was curious.
"Where did you learn the words 'hypothesis' and 'observation'?"
"From Dinosaur Train."
Proof that letting your kids watch a little TV can really be educational!

In Search of my Sense of Humor

We are back from our trek out west with my folks and everyone had a GREAT time! Thanks again Mom and Dad! I considered leaving town the last week of August the "christening" of our sabbatical as this would never be possible in a "normal" school year.

The house my folks rented for us was perfect including a great big porch overlooking the pastures and mountains. It lived up to it's name of "ranch" in the smallest sense by having live cattle and horses for the boys to feed. They spent hours picking grass to feed the horses and we spent hours watching the owners chase one obstinate little calf that kept escaping back into the pasture. We named him "Houdini", the rancher had a few other names for him that I can't post here.

I spent many early mornings on that porch watching the sun peak up over the hills and enjoying time in the Word. God used that time to give me a bit more insight into what a sabbatical is all about (I think!). Below are a few verses I came across that I want to pray often for this season and I'd love it if you would pray them for us as well when we come to mind.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

I'm reading through a new devotional that I honestly can't remember if our supervisors gave us or if it came from our sabbatical training - it was all a blur, but to WHOMEVER - THANKS SO MUCH. It is GREAT! "Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen," by Charles Ringa, shares many great quotes from one of my favorite authors along with some key thoughts on times of solitude. I'll share just one with you now - and maybe more to come...
"In our much doing we lose perspective, lose our energy, and more importantly, lose our creativity and sense of humor..." (To an ENFP losing my sense of humor seems close to a death sentence! Say it isn't so?!!!) Ringa explains that solitude, "is not simply a withdrawal from the world in order to be renewed and refreshed. It is also finding a new center of inner quietness and certitude from which we act in the midst of a busy and demanding world." Then we can can "again enter our world with purposeful engagement and joyful detachment."

My hope for this season is that by putting myself in a place where I have nothing to do but listen (outside of normal home-life of course) I can then again re-enter ministry with more "purposeful engagement" and be better equipped to serve Him.

Here are a few photos from our time in the Black Hills:

The Train Ride was a highlight for everyone - esp. the boys!





Gold Panning with Grandpa

Life Stages of the "Average" Boy

We are finally home from our CO and NM tour and it has only taken me an entire week to somewhat get our lives put back in order. Well, as much order as is possible with a 2-yr-old trailing behind undoing all you have just done.
Hubby has one last trip to the Dells to wrap things up there and then we will officially start our sabbatical on the 15th. Can I hear a "whoot! whoot!" (or whatever the cool thing to say is these days).
Lately I have been thinking about stages and seasons of life. For your own entertainment here are a few along with a cute pic of Thing 3 in Grandma Graf's kitchen:

After having three of my own boys to observe up close I have divided and labeled their stages into my own categories.
0-12 months - Eat-Sleep-Poop-Drool Stage
12-18 months- Hunter and Gatherer Stage (as named by hubby)- when they see how many matchbox cars, etc. they can carry at once and keep from any other little people within the vicinity.
18-24 months - Seek and Destroy (self explanatory) Actually given my older boys' (and husband's) affinity for watching things fall down and blow up I'm pretty sure this stage lasts a lifetime.
24-36 months - All the Ability and NONE of the Common-Sense Stage. Case in point just the other day Thing 3 took a screw driver, walked over to an outlet and tried to insert it! Arghhhhh! Just trying to keep him alive is taking up most of my time!
Mixed in there somewhere and beyond are the lovely "Why?" stage and the "Watch Me!" stage that continue on for many fun filled years to come! :)

Questions I've heard lately

Q:How was the Dells?

A:New friends, fellowship, new believers, growing believers, woods, water-slides, games, ticks, God's provision, God showing up, tons of great memories.....let's do it again!

Q: Are you on sabbatical now?

A: No. We leave today for CO for 2 weeks after being "home" for less than 48 hours. Amazingly, I'm okay with this. I'm looking forward to the great fellowship to be had...err, exceptional training ahead. :) We will officially start our sabbatical Aug. 15th.

Q: Does Hubby still have Jury Duty this fall?

A: NO! Praise God!

Q: What are you looking forward to in you sabbatical?

A: Focusing more time on God, each other, our kids and in general being refreshed. I have a picture in my mind from a recent QT - it was a gentle rain washing all the dirt and grime away leaving a world of bright green newness. I think God wants to get to that dirt that I've been too busy to deal with for awhile. Thanks for praying for me in this!

What I am to be About

Recently as we returned home from church (which btw this church has been amazing, welcoming us, providing for us cribs, toys and trikes, not to mention great worship and teaching for our whole family - thank you, Lord) anyways, as soon as we pulled in from church hubby turned to me and told me to pack a lunch and don't come back until dinner. I protested a bit (when will I learn to just let him lead?) that I was going to have study time the next day, but he convinced me that I need this extended time alone with God in addition to my normal study time. He was right of course, my soul was so thirsty to just sit and read and be quiet and listen. All things I don't usually do during my half-day a week when I prep my BS and meet with women. During this extended TAWG I read another chapter from "Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership", by Ruth Barton, and gleaned a few choice quotes.

"(we) need to be very clear about what we are to be about in any given moment and say no to everything else." (p.182) Barton notes that when we try and take on too much we are trying to be like God who is unlimited in His capacity. It always hurts a bit to have your pride pointed out so blatantly. The outcome, she explains, is that we become worn out and compromise our relationships with each other and God and are not as effective as we could be at anything (p.182).

Journaling about this idea, I made a list of my various roles in this life and how those play out in my time. What I came up with is nothing brilliantly new but desperately needed to be dusted off and examined in my heart. I am a child of God, a wife, a mom, a minister, a writer. The amount of time and attention these roles take are never evenly distributed (and probably never will be) and the lines are often blurred.

As I examined them I felt partly overwhelmed, partly confused by the question - "what am I to be about?" I left that processing time with two clear conclusions - my quiet times had been greatly lacking lately and that needed to change. Until that happened nothing else was going to fall into proper place. Secondly, having a 2-yr-old is at times exhausting (except when they are sleeping!) I need to be okay with the limits this plays on my other roles and recognize the value in just being about being a mom of a toddler (and his brothers of course!).

These aren't new thoughts, but as I left my time of reflection I did feel refreshed adn strengthed...and a little bit more confident what I am to be about...at least in this age and stage.

Family, Friends and Making Memories

When we returned to our little house in the woods on Thursday after a week of vacation I remember thinking "it will feel good to sleep in our own bed." That is when I realized that our little house has begun to feel like home no matter how temporary.
We had a great visit with hubby's side of the family enjoying time with everyone together, celebrating birthdays and our nephew's HS graduation. The weather was perfect and the time sweet. Then we headed up to another little cabin in the woods, this one sitting right on Clark lake for a few days RnR. We enjoyed great fellowship with old friends in the area and just exploring and playing in Door County. My only regret is that I didn't locate our camera until we returned; there it lay in the kitchen drawer! The mental pictures of sunsets on the lake, little boy legs dangling from trees and tire swings and collapsing in sleep heaps at the end of long summer days of fun will have to do. I wish I could make an online album from my brain!
I do, however, have pictures from our very fun reunion with friends during Rythm and Booms (Madison's firework celebration) that we enjoyed two nights ago! I will post those soon!
Upon our return I felt mixed emotions that we have only 3 short weeks left here in the Dells. There is still so much more I want to do and have to do before we leave. There is that house full of Turkish women just up the road - I really need to make some brownies and introduce myself. There are two weeks of swim lessons starting today, t-ball, lots of ministry events, two precious women I mentor, the list goes on and on.
Guide my steps, Father, show me each day what I am to "be about" and what I am to say "no" to.
More on that later...

Rejoicing in Her Gain

Two days ago marked the anniversary of Heather's death and entrance into a new life. With the busyness of life I haven't had the time to write out my thoughts and feelings until now. It feels good to sit down and start writing, bringing clarity for myself and in some small way honoring the incredible woman that she was...is.

The morning of her passing anniversary (why don't we have a word for that in our language?) I read from a devotional that was recently given to me. The dated entry challenged the reader to thank God for our trials. I pondered this through my tears for a few minutes that early morning at my kitchen table. Would God really ask me to thank Him for Heather's death and all the grief it caused? Knowing that the author of that devotional could never know each and every situation the reader was encountering on a particular day I did not want to read into what is not there. Does scripture ask that of us?

From what I know of Him, He chooses to weep with us when we weep (John 11). From what I know of heaven, it is an amazing awesome place beyond words of anyone who has seen it can accurately describe (Rev.). From what I know of Heather, she is there right now (John 5:24). I grieve my loss but rejoice in her gain. I also grieve not as one who has no hope of seeing her again, but as one who has the hope of heaven. And I look forward to hearing her laugh once again on the other side of heaven.

Two years ago I was not at this place. The pain is still acute but I'm able to see more clearly past my loss into her gain. I can't understand God's economy in these things nor will I try to defend Him and His ways. All I can do is look to the hope set before us and do my best to honor her life by living each day I receive to the fullest just as she did.

John 5:24 "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life."

Planting Seeds and Picking Fruit

It is so exciting to see God at work here in the Dells!!! For months (years, even!) many have been dreaming, hoping and praying for this STP to come together. One of the things that excited me the most when I first heard of this opportunity was the possibility to reach many nations from this one little town in the middle of WI. Already students and staff have been able to share the Gospel with people from the Ukraine, Russia, China, Columbia and more! Two women from Asia prayed to accept Christ yesterday and one man from Russia just this morning! Two other women from UW-Madison indicated they desired a relationship with God after hearing of His love for them. Hubby got to share the Bridge along with another staff guy, with one of these gals on Tuesday when our entire program went to Madison for a day of training and initiative evangelism. Please be praying for the three new believers and the other two who may or may not still be "on the fence"! I was just praying through Colossians 1:9:10 (as I was attempting to memorize it) this morning for them. Won't you join me in prayer right now for them?

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,"

So far I personally have not had (or taken?) the opportunity to go out and share with our students; but I hope to soon! In many ways I feel like being a mom has taken me off of the "front lines" of the battle. I'm still in the army, just farther back in the lineup. This is true in some ways and not in others (see Ministry from my couch entry). Either way I'm learning to be content no matter my position, knowing that we all play a part.

Pictured above: Two lovely ladies that I have the pleasure of spending extra time with (AKA discipling) this summer. We are taking in the Memorial Day Parade with three rowdy little boys who loved the firetrucks but were disappointed that no candy was handed out!.

This morning I sat in our van with one of these ladies talking about life, God and praying together. She had to meet me at the dentist instead of a coffee shop b/c apparently Thing 1 is growing in teeth faster than he is losing them. That is just how discipleship and motherhood goes sometimes! Anyways we were having a QT together and the devotional (that a dear friend and mentor had just given me) seemed to be written just for her today. I love it when that happens. I listened to her dreams and challenges for the summer. I shared with her some of the blessings and challenges of being a mom at an STP. Later she texted me some verses from 1 Cor. 12 about all the members of the body being arranged by God and even the weaker parts are indispensable. This is an encouraging reminder that even though my heart is there to be spreading the seeds and picking fruit, my supportive role in helping these things happens is just as important. We all play a part. Your prayers and partnership are vital as well and we so appreciate you! Thanks you!!!

Two Beautiful Days

Most mornings in my new life here I wake up and wonder, "what are we going to do today?" Sometimes it is with a bit of dread and goes more like "What am I going to do with 3 active boys all day in a town I don't know very well. I can't call MOAOF every day -or I won't even have her!" But every day God surprises me (when do you think my faith will be big enough for it to NOT be a surprise?) with a wonderful day and things to do with the Things. Like today as I had a couple boys piled on top of me and I was trying to convince my body to get out of bed (yesterday I ran the stairs 8 times not really thinking about the fact that we were going rock climbing later that afternoon! Duh!). One of them asked when they were going to be able to ride their bike. We decided today was a good day to explore Mirror lake state park, just a few minutes down the road from us. The sun was shining, the ducks waddling away from 3 Things all as fast as they could go, and the place was deserted; our own private state park - Thanks God! The bikes never made it out of the van but the sand toys did - there was too much fun to be had with water, mud, sand and playgrounds to explore.

Yesterday was our first "Program Day" where everyone comes together to do something. Some weeks it will be an outing, other weeks it will be doing evangelism (look out UW -Madison, we are headed your way!). God blessed us with a gorgeous day at Devil's Lake state park and some really awesome Madisonites blessed us by setting up and running a climbing wall for us to enjoy all day. The Things ran around in a frenzy from student friend to friend playing volleyball, rock climbing, swimming, eating tons of chips and watermelon, hiking, etc. We all had a wonderful day together and that 100% chance of downpour at 1pm didn't happen just as I asked Him (yay God). For many students it was their first day off of work and a much needed time to kick back and have fun.

Finally some Pics!

Thing One whispered in my ear the other day, "I've found the woman I'm going to marry when I grow up." It was too cute! He is smitten with our neighbor that I'm sure he is responsible for waking up more than once already this summer pounding through the house above her. She is 7 mos, big blue eyes and all around adorable. I'd be pleased to have her as my DIL some day! T1 has already brought her gifts of leaves, sticks and maybe a flower?

Girl's night out - this was the only man allowed to be with us!


They have the same name, same shirt and almost the same glasses - weird! I was a little offended that hubby didn't go change his shirt, he always does whenever we are accidentally matchy! What's up with that?!

Random "bubbler" (we are in WI now!) in the woods near our house.

Our awesome student team leaders and staff gather for training in our house last week. Notice the awesome retro-furniture, we are so hip!


Our front door.

Steps leading down to deck and lower apartment where our future DIL lives.

Reaching the World from the Dells

A single unplugged guitar and amped keyboard led about fifty of us in worship at our the first ever Nav Nite of the Wisconsin Dells. A small and humble beginning for what we hope to be a foundational summer for the lives of the students here and generations to come. Mike, a lifetime Dells native and father of a current Navigator student, shared about his experiences in helping make this STP possible. He put his reputation on the line networking with employers lining up jobs and housing for our students. Listening to him share reminded me of the privilege we have in being a part of something new and foundational. He shared this verse, "because a great door for effective work has opened to me,"(1 Corinthians 16:9a),
explaining that it described what God was doing in brining all of us here to impact the Dells, a historically very secular region. With about 5000 residents, an almost equal number of internationals in the summers and about 2 million tourists, the possibilities to reach many regions of this country and world with the Good News are breathtaking. Amazing that they are all living and coming here – all we need to do is be ready and willing to share!

 

Of course our ability to do anything rests solely on our willingness to Abide in Christ, and that is what hubby encouraged us to do in his message last night. He reminded us that abiding is surrendering our heart, mind and will to God continually. If we just simply go through the motions but don't engage God with our hearts, we are in danger of being destroyed. To illustrate he shared about some homes that were needlessly destroyed in a tornado; the homes hadn't been properly built. The builders were just going through the motions using staples instead of nails, rendering the buildings useless. Secondly, if we just simply take in the Word but don't let us change our thinking we are more like a pipe with water flowing through us rather than like the tree described in Psalm 1, that yields fruit and does not wither. We have to engage His Word with our minds or we will just end up being a rusty pipe instead of a flourishing tree. Lastly, we must be willing to let God prune us, surrendering our will to Him. Only as we fully abide in Him will we grow and be allowed to bear fruit. Truly, the harvest here is plentiful; please pray for us that we will be ready, abiding and willing to be reapers this summer.

 

The Dirtier the Happier - that is the way with boys.

Today we ventured out to Holiday Shores, the 150+ acre campground that 10 of our students will be working at for the summer. We were all delighted to sample their still warm famous homemade doughnuts and fresh coffee. The boys and I headed outside once the job training started since our presence would only be good training for the one lucky guy or gal who will be hired as the campground babysitter. I plan on spending lots of time with her (if it is a her) and the owner's grand kids that I'm told will be chauffeured around in a golf cart all summer from playground to playground around the camp. The 4-year-old grandson that we were hoping to meet wasn't there today but we still stayed all morning to wade in the water, slide down the big sand pile and play on the playground. The boys were filthy and happy and I was grateful to be outside after it rained all day yesterday. The property is beautiful, full of mature trees providing plenty of shady spots leading up to the boat docks. As we played near the water T1 said, "The tights are coming in! The water is getting wild." :) Well T3 is awake and the other two bickering...time for baths!

My Not-So-Exciting Day in One Sentence AND Ministry from My Couch

This morning I made my bed, assembled the new vacuum our landlord dropped off, picked up all the boys clothes off the floor and put them away in the dresser in the living room (their room is only big enough for bunk beds/ aka jungle gym), remade my bed (three Things happened to it), surprisingly kept my cool at Walmart and Home Depot with the boys, handled out Skittles before heading back to the van (they were mostly good and I use bribery to my advantage whenever possible), ran up and down the 110 steps 5 times BY MYSELF (I was needing some serious "I" time after shopping with 3 boys and a frustrating encounter with our plumber), walked up the road to get our mail that still has not arrived, drove 3 boys home after dinner out at Culvers with Dad and the team leaders we get to disciple (good thing I ran those stairs!), got every one's teeth brushed, diapers changed, pajamas on, then diapered again (why does he always wait to poop in a clean one?), read stories and Bible and then kissed three little heads goodnight which I knew by their not very sleepy eyes I would be seeing them again shortly for this and that.

After all this it was right around 7ish which is when I knew that our team was going out to do evangelism. I called hubby to see if another woman was needed and he wanted to switch out. They were already all en-route and had even numbers without me. A few years ago it would have been a lot harder to be home and not out "doing ministry." But now-a-days some nights I'm just too tired to mind. Tonight I could have rallied and gone, but I wasn't needed with the team. But I was needed at home. And as I snuggled up next to my boys and read them their Bible story I knew I was still "doing ministry." It wasn't on the street talking with strangers it was from my couch with three very familiar faces. And I'm okay with that. And I'm okay with my not so exciting day. I'm learning with motherhood that sometimes ministry looks like that.

110 Steps

Today we walked down the 110 steps to throw rocks into the river again. If the Things have their way this will become part of our daily routine. Wake up way too early (Things), drink lots of coffee (mommy), eat breakfast(mommy and Things) , walk down to the river (Mommy and Things) and back up again (Mommy carrying Things).

Of course the boys were picking up logs their full body length and seeing who could make the biggest splash - why is it everything is a competition with brothers? It is fun having new nature landscapes for the boys to be boys in. Last night as we enjoyed a bbq with our staff team at a local home the boys climbed higher than I thought was reasonable again and again in a real live tree (which isn't a feature of our home on the prairie).

Today we ventured to the library which looked to be brand new. They were having a kids activity which my one and only friend in town (OAOFIT) mentioned to me on the phone. We don't have any mail yet so we couldn't get a library card - but my OAOFIT was kind enough to call the library and ask them to let us use her card. The boys enjoyed the crafts, Thing 3 enjoyed the mints and pretzels and lemonade and I enjoyed the adult conversation with all the retired senior ladies who were running the event.

Four times in the last couple days the Lord has protected us from near disaster. Twice when Thing 3 got ahead of me and out those pesky automatic doors (they should have a minimum height limit for opening and closing if you ask me). The first time was at Wal Mart when with a fully loaded cart I had to let him walk to have room for them all, I was leaving the store and a water jug fell out of the bottom - T3 took that opportunity to run ahead and luckily the greeter employee was there to usher him back into the store or he would have run right into the parking lot. I'm considering getting a leash for him...any votes on a color? Yesterday T2 came in with a wooden board attached to his flip flop by a two inch nail. The nail had gone clear through of course and was just milimeters above his toes. Yikes! Thankfully he was not hurt. I'm currently trying to recall when his last tetnus shot was just in case this happens again.

We are having a few plumbing issues in our new cottage in the woods but the bright side is that all I have to do is call someone and they come and attempt to fix it. Hubby doesn't have to take time out of his busy schedule to do all the maitenance, a nice change of pace for him. Right now one out of the three issues is resolved and we might have to go without a kitchen sink (but hopefully not the one and only toilet) for the weekend!

Our New Pad

I took some pictures of our house to post but have no idea how to do that with our borrowed computer...sorry! I hope to get internet on my laptop eventually and will get them up soon. In the meantime I'll describe it to you -
It is white with blue trim, a stone chimney on the side, outdoor deck and steps that lead down to a second level apartment that our friends are living in. Unfortunately for them they live below three loud boys for the summer - I apologize now to their adorable six month old daughter who might be an only child as a result of their living situation this summer. I'm doing my best to keep the boys from jumping off the beds before 7am but I'm not always successful.
Our house is surrounded by trees and on the edge of a ravine with LOTS of steps down to a river (which I consider my free stair-master). So far the boys have been pretty good about staying within the boundaries we give them and are enamored enough with living in a forest. I try not to be too grossed out when the climb under the porch to retrieve a lost ball and have faithfully placed all soil ridden wildflowers picked for me into a vase on our wobbly drop-leaf kitchen table.
We have already explored one park in the area and inspected the Culvers - the frozen custard is defiantly up to par. Later we hope to take a hike and are anxiously awaiting the opening of the pool down the road - May 27th can't come fast enough for three little boys even though we have yet to get above 75 degree weather.
That's all for now as thing 1 just disconnected the dvd player (aka my only sanity) and now I must figure out how to get it functioning again -( add electrical engineering training to the required reading for a mom!).

Little House in the Big Woods

Well our van is packed and we are ready to head out on another adventure! Thanks to many helping hands we even have a clean house for our houseguest to live in this summer! In case you didn't know, we are heading to the Dells for the summer. If you want to know more about what we are doing, check out this link.
We are very excited to live in our little house in the woods for a summer, even though we will miss our house on the prairie! (Yes, I did always want to be Laura Ingles growing up). Having already experienced two summer long programs I know that there are many surprises and blessings in store. I'm especially excited about the opportunities to reach the nations and pour into the lives of the women around me (that is, between t-ball and swim lessons!). If you find yourself with the urge to hit the water-slides give us a call!

Exchanging High-heels for House-slippers

The morning of his seventh birthday I woke him up for school. As he stretched and raised his eyebrows, eyelids still shut, I could see the same face he used to make all the time as a tiny baby. Was it really seven years ago that I welcomed that cuddly swaddled bundle into my arms, full of dark hair and the cutest little dimple on his tiny right cheek? Was it really only seven years ago that I became a mom, because with three boys in seven years, my life has changed so dramatically it seems like way too much to have crammed into seven short years?

Eight years ago I remember sitting across the table from my husband in a nice restaurant discussing whether we were "ready" to start this journey called parenthood. (By the way we were soooo oblivious then to what a treat it was to go out to eat sans sippy cups, dropped crayons and impatient toddlers!) I had been convinced for about two years that I was ready to start parenting – but my hubby not so much. So that night when I expected him to say, "we just can't afford it yet" or "I'm not ready" instead he surprised me by saying, "I'm ready, but it is going to change your life much more than mine, are you sure you are ready?" This gave me pause for a few days, but in the end couldn't suppress that internal clock that was tick-tick-ticking! Today I realize that he was spot on – though I knew it only vaguely then, I could never have imagined how much my life would change with the new title of "mom."

For the first few years I wrestled with the change, loving it at times, struggling with it at others. In just a few years I had gone from a single woman in full-time ministry, to married and part time in ministry, and then – poof, a mommy not knowing what my ministry involvement should look like at all! Some days I loved the freedom of my schedule and being there to meet all my baby's needs. Other days I jealously guarded any "me-time" I could etch out and discontentedly compared my upside down schedule with my husband's who still seemed free to live life as usual. As I've grown into mommy-hood while my sons have grown before my eyes, I've learned to not fight against the changes, but embrace them as part of God's plans for me. I couldn't have put it in so many words at the time, but looking back this is definitely where I've come from.

Ruth Barton encourages me with her words about living within our limits in her book, "Strengthening the Soul of your Leadership." She says, "Living within limits is not in any way an acquiescence that is despairing, passive or fatalistic. Rather it honors the deepest realities of the life God has given us….Life in my family at its age and stage."(p.112,113). It has taken me seven years to slowly settle into this place. Ruth helps me see that my withdrawal from before-mommy-hood activities (like a regular eight hours of sleep) less like a regression in my identity and more like a progression.

The limits that mothering puts on my other activities, like our campus ministry and my writing, don't have to be negative or constricting as feminism would have me believe. Instead if I view them as Ruth does, and honor them as God given, I find myself embracing rather than comparing, enjoying rather than begrudging, and flexing rather than screaming at yet another roadblock in my day. I still have my days of frustration, but instead of begrudging my children of this time, or my husband of his, I'm trying to welcome these changes and take what lessons I can from them.

Feminism tells me to fight against this change, that I will surely lose my identity in exchanging my heels for house slippers. Yet I find that my identity is far from lost, if anything mother-hood is helping my uncover layers of my personality I was never required to draw upon before. My skill-set is only improving with each passing year of multi-tasking (reading to my four-year-old while tickling my two-year-old), budgeting (how many groceries can I get for the best price?), flexing (with the 2-yr-old tide), constant decision making (yes, you can flood the sandbox, no you can't put legos down the vent), (toy) negotiating and planning for the unexpected (poopy diaper)!

After seven years and several pairs of slippers I can say that my heels will always be there when I'm ready to put them back on but my children will not. This is my one chance to imprint on them all that they will need to succeed in this world and I'm happy to take on the job. It may be full-time now, but as I now know, six years can fly by in a blur and before I know it my "baby" is gone all day long. I'm no longer the one putting band-aids on his cuts and teaching him to share, sit still and follow directions. Other adults are pouring their time and energy into the bulk of his day and I'm left holding my breath and praying he has good experiences with them. He needs to learn to do this, to be on his own, this is what I tell myself as my heart constricts with each cutting of the apron strings. I'm sure he has no idea he carries part of my heart with him as he hops out of the van, with his bigger-than-him backpack bouncing along behind as he races up to play before the bell rings. I wouldn't exchange all that time with him for any amount of investment I could have made in others, or articles and novels written. Those will come in due season – for now I'm living within the "age and stage" of my family and loving it (most days); and my house-slippers are way more comfortable than my heels ever were!

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Mother's Day

My all time favorite mother's day video. Enjoy!