What I am to be About

Recently as we returned home from church (which btw this church has been amazing, welcoming us, providing for us cribs, toys and trikes, not to mention great worship and teaching for our whole family - thank you, Lord) anyways, as soon as we pulled in from church hubby turned to me and told me to pack a lunch and don't come back until dinner. I protested a bit (when will I learn to just let him lead?) that I was going to have study time the next day, but he convinced me that I need this extended time alone with God in addition to my normal study time. He was right of course, my soul was so thirsty to just sit and read and be quiet and listen. All things I don't usually do during my half-day a week when I prep my BS and meet with women. During this extended TAWG I read another chapter from "Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership", by Ruth Barton, and gleaned a few choice quotes.

"(we) need to be very clear about what we are to be about in any given moment and say no to everything else." (p.182) Barton notes that when we try and take on too much we are trying to be like God who is unlimited in His capacity. It always hurts a bit to have your pride pointed out so blatantly. The outcome, she explains, is that we become worn out and compromise our relationships with each other and God and are not as effective as we could be at anything (p.182).

Journaling about this idea, I made a list of my various roles in this life and how those play out in my time. What I came up with is nothing brilliantly new but desperately needed to be dusted off and examined in my heart. I am a child of God, a wife, a mom, a minister, a writer. The amount of time and attention these roles take are never evenly distributed (and probably never will be) and the lines are often blurred.

As I examined them I felt partly overwhelmed, partly confused by the question - "what am I to be about?" I left that processing time with two clear conclusions - my quiet times had been greatly lacking lately and that needed to change. Until that happened nothing else was going to fall into proper place. Secondly, having a 2-yr-old is at times exhausting (except when they are sleeping!) I need to be okay with the limits this plays on my other roles and recognize the value in just being about being a mom of a toddler (and his brothers of course!).

These aren't new thoughts, but as I left my time of reflection I did feel refreshed adn strengthed...and a little bit more confident what I am to be about...at least in this age and stage.