Record of Faithfulness: Remembering Jo

Since Heather’s sudden death four years ago I’ve wondered if it would be easier to accept if I had had a chance to say goodbye.  Or is a freak accident a mercy?  No suffering, no lingering, no knowing all you are about to lose?  My husband put it well when he said Heather’s death was “traumatic.”  Jo’s was just plain painful.  Having had grief both ways now I’m not sure one is easier than the other, just different.

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Sept. 10, 20013

                Jo died yesterday.  It was hard to see her so frail and in pain.  Cheeks sunken, breath broken, body swollen and suffering.  This was not the vibrant woman whose personality instantly filled a room.  This was sin’s consequence staring back at me – not her sin, but everyone’s.  Death was coming to steal, plunder and destroy all the goodness God had breathed into Jo – all the life.

 My heart agrees with  these words, “We were never meant to experience (death) because it was not part of the wise Creator’s original plan.  Since we have forever wired in our hearts, death is an inconceivable, dark reality.” (Forever, Paul David Tripp, p.44).  The dark reality is all the ordinary days and special celebrations where she will be dearly missed.

                My heart breaks over the separation, no matter how temporary.  I know Your heart breaks too. Through loss I better understand the emotion behind Your Words in the Garden, “What have you done?” (Gen.3:13). There is no accusation in those words, only tears. 

But You had a plan in mind to rescue us. (Rom. 6:23). Instead of judgment You hold out Your nailed scarred hand and welcome us into Your embrace.  No more shifting the blame with Adam or hiding with Eve. No more covering our shame.  Just Love.  Just forgiveness.  Just cleansing and Life, bought at the highest price.  Life celebrated with each day we live by faith here on earth and in heaven forever.

Jo knew this faith.  She lived for this Love.  She didn’t do it perfectly, no one does. . But when it counted the most, in the midst of cancer, she did not waver in her faith. One of my treasured memories with Jo is hearing her teach on thanksgiving while battling her illness. She never stopped asking for more time, and more importantly, when she didn’t get what she wanted she did not turn away from You.   

Jo brought glory to You, the One who gives life, the One Who is Life. The One Who is celebrating with her right now a life well lived in service to You, and all there is to come… forever. Well done, my good and faithful friend.

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Yesterday I found this note from Jo along with a journal she gave me shortly after Heather died.

“This is a journey we didn’t ask for, and don’t even really want to be on – yet here we are.  Should God move – when God moves – in a special way, a record will tell of His faithfulness. All my love, Jo”

This is the beginning of my record of your faithfulness my friend, words cannot describe the present sorrow nor the hope I hold onto at our future reunion.