H.A.L.T.

H.A.L.T. is a nifty parenting tip I picked up somewhere along the way.  If you or someone you know, big or little, acts a bit cranky or unlike their usual self you could ask, Are they Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Or Tired?  So many times this little trick has helped me properly assess a tantrum and come up with a helpful solution.  The key is to address the real problem behind the behavior (sometimes in addition to your normal discipline).

Take tonight for example.  As we picked up toys before dinner my 3-yr-old didn’t want to clean up his cars.  After a time-out for disobeying he still insisted he was not going to comply (have I mentioned he can be a bit strong willed?).   I realized he had missed his usual snack after nap and had complained about 30 mins earlier that he was hungry.  Bad mommy.    I decided to put the acronym to the test and excused him from his time out bench straight to the dinner table.  After dinner he willingly (okay, under threat of no dessert) picked up the cars with a much better attitude and no tantrum.  

This reminds me of a little problem I have all the time with my own behavior.  The issue isn’t just my behavior itself, it is what is driving it. I impatiently push for my own way, hurting my husband in the process.  Or I yell at my kids in anger threatening them into obedience.  The behavior is different but the driving force behind it, which is the real problem, is the same. 

 My selfish heart that just can’t seem to love others more than I love myself…not even close actually.  The key to changing my behavior is to address the issue behind it, my desperate need for a new heart. Thankfully the solution is as simple is the acronym I used above, though much more costly in its application. When I surrender my heart to the One Who created it, He gives me His love, patience and humility that never fails for those around me.  He takes my misbehavior and gives me a clean start every time.  This is only possible because He took my punishment for me – death, and in exchange offers me new life.

When I find myself being crabby I need to HALT and remember how well He loves me. The new life and heart that is mine for the taking.  This softens me, changes me, fills me with the love I need for the precious people, big and little, around me. 

2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if anyone is in Christ (s)he is a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come."