“Phase Two of our Sabbatical…already?!"

Jeff recently informed me that we are technically out of our "Rest" period and entering into the second phase. I felt a little panicked by this revelation. I don't feel rested yet; perhaps our early bird toddler has something to do with that!
Early this morning I reflected on my promise verse for our sabbatical, "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength…" (Is. 40:28-31). I paused to ask myself, Am I hoping in the Lord? Or am I hoping in my sabbatical? I found myself wondering yesterday how I will handle it if our sabbatical ends before I feel ready. As I think back to my attitude lately regarding our sabbatical I see I have misplaced my hope.
This morning I realized that I've had my eyes on the calendar instead of on the Lord. I've looked to our sabbatical in itself to restore me and not the Restorer. In reality we could have the longest sabbatical in the history of mankind and still walk away empty. Or we could have the shortest sabbatical on the planet and return entirely renewed. It all depends on what we look to for our hope and renewal, self-help books and a set amount of time, or the Lord. I sense Him gently leading me through this unknown territory as only He can. Truly He faithfully guides me (Ps. 23).
Our sabbatical isn't entirely about renewal though. In an earlier post I mentioned a great devotional, "Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen," by Charles Ringa. This morning he challenged me to not give up after reaping the "first fruits" of our sabbatical but to reach "deeper changes still." (#48). He explains that the disciplines of stillness should help renew us but it shouldn't end there.
When others ask me about our sabbatical I tend to tell them how I feel empty and really need this time of refreshment. Today's entry reminded me that the end goal goes beyond renewal and drawing closer to God. Our sabbatical should also equip us to "serve more generously and purposefully. If (I) forget to maintain this important purpose, the fruit that springs from our inner life will be unripe. It will not only be tasteless for others, but it will have a sour and bitter taste in our own mouths."
Should this time renew me, draw me closer to God and refocus my vision for ministry? Absolutely! But if I stop there I will produce bitter fruit. Ringa directs his readers to 1 Cor.13 reminding us that if we leave out love, no matter how well we train ourselves in our craft, we will only irritate others with our noisy clanging.
Please keep praying for us to keep our hope in the Lord, be renewed, and be better equipped on the other side of this sabbatical to love others well. Thanks! J And please feel free to share with us how we can be praying for you as you come to mind.