30 (ish) Dangers In Marriage and Parenting

"Warning: Avoid Death" the sign on the farm equipment warned at the Walworth county fair. I remember my dear friend Heather thinking this was so funny that she made t-shirts with it imprinted on them for our husbands. We all had a good laugh over this straight-forward advice. But not all dangers are obvious.

If you google "dangerous" it says:

dan·ger·ous

Dictionary result for dangerous

/ˈdānj(ə)rəs/

adjective

1. able or likely to cause harm or injury.

likely to cause problems or to have adverse consequences.

"it is dangerous to underestimate an enemy"

After 18 years of marriage, 14+ with offspring, we've stumbled our way through many things no pastor or parenting book warned us about. So I humbly (read: humorously) submit my own list for your reading amusement.

Dangers to Avoid:

• asking your wife if she has PMS (hubby wants it noted he has NOT done this)

• eating mom's secret goood chocolate stash

• leaving the TP roll empty

• a tween with Axe body spray 

• shopping with an over-tired toddler and no snacks 

• someone waking said toddler before naptime is done

• someone waking pregnant-tired mom before naptime is done

• the clearance rack at Target (sometimes good and bad are two sides of the same coin)

• 3 hours alone in Target (ditto)

• walking into Target 

• driving by Target (ahem...)

• the REI garage sale 

• skipping a pill

• a momentarily unattended child with hair and scissors

• permament markers and boys

• Natural Family Planning

• eating a tiny sliver of your delicously smelling chocolate b-day cake before it is decorated that your husband asked you to take out of the oven but didn't tell you NOT to eat a tiny sliver of it

• buying her an appliance for any special occasion (again, hubby has avoided this bc we have a rule about not buying me anything with a cord unless I specifically ask for it)

• happy hour at Starbucks

• miscommunicating with your hairdresser (okay, not directly marriage or parenting related but impactful on both nonetheless. Hence an emergency mid-week consolation lunch date with hubby after I accidentally became a red-head. oops.)

• dogs with IBS (so long carpet)

• potty training (ditto)

• thinking "I've got this" about anything 

• boys being quiet (RUN!!!)

• not returning the kitchen drawer scissors (scotch tape, etc.)

• sending your son into 7/11 without SPECIFIC instructions as to what size slurpee to purchase

• sneaking black beans into the brownies (sorry again, hon)

• walking barefoot through the toy room

• legos hidden in the shag rug

• walking into a pet store with your child

• looking at puppy pictures

• diaper blow-outs

• feeding a toddler too many fruit snacks to keep him quite during the Christmas Eve service (so. much. vomit.)

• letting a boy chug a soda and candy during intermission at the play (ditto. what goes down too fast comes up wayyyyy too fast and wide)

• comparison

• spending too much time on social media

• living, schooling, parenting, etc. to meet outside expectations

• telling yourself a story about "them"

• looking to them to fulfill you 

• believing your not _______ enough

• not asking for help

• not taking care of yourself (put your own oxygen mask on first!)

• believing lies about yourself, them, God

• taking them for granted

• not soaking up enough TRUTH, LOVE and HOPE 

My Jesus once told me, 
           A thief (read: our dangerous enemy) is only there to steal and kill and destroy. 
                                     I came so they can have real and eternal life, 
                                           more and better life than they ever 
                                                          dreamed of. 
                                                          (Jn.10:10 - MSG)

We all want that abundant life. Some dangers we can avoid and some we need to trust Him through. I hope this list brought a smile of recognition and encouragement on the journey.

Blessings!