On Being a Mom and a Teacher

I was really nervous about this day, more nervous than I expected.  It wasn't so much that I just sort of had an idea of what we were going to do (after camping all weekend and spending zero time final prepping).  It wasn't that I didn't think I could teach my kids; I've done it their whole lives after all!  It wasn't even because I'd have three BOYS to keep in line and get new information into their brains.  It was more about my relationship with one of my boys in particular.  I think this summer has been a challenging transition for him and  it is playing out in his over all behavior.  If I'm already struggling to get respect and obedience for the simple daily chores how in the world am I going to do it as a teacher?

A good friend and successful home schooling mom (her son is in college) recently reminded me of

1 Corinthians 13:1- If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

regarding teaching.  She warned me that I could have very smart and accomplished children but if I do it without love they are going to be really messed up! (my words, not hers). Yes, I need to be teacher and mom and disciplinarian and loving them well is doing all three.  But if I do it without all the other things listed in the rest of that passage defining LOVE (patience, kindness, gentleness, etc) then I will have failed.  

And of course I can't do any of it.  Not on my own.  I have to daily draw upon the fullness of my Father's love for me and let it spill over to my kids.  If I try to do it on my own I just end up a noisy gong in their ears giving one more lecture and ultimatum.  That is NOT what I want them to remember from home school. 

I want them to remember the nature walk we took this morning, our discussion on what and why we do the Pledge of Allegiance, the poem they memorized on Individuality for HIStory and our discussion on discretion for Bible. These are the things that get me excited about home school, uniquely crafting their education around our family's values/faith.

Being a teacher and a mom is a tricky balance I'm far from mastering. But I know where to start with both - showing them the same love that He shows me daily. The sacrificial love that took Him from His Throne in Heaven to a dirty manger full of hay to a cross of shame. The powerful Love that rose again and bids me to do the same in Him (Galatians 2:20).  The gracious love that welcomes me to let go of my mistakes, receive his forgiveness and start over and over again. This is the love I want to show my kids, both as a mom and a teacher.  And I can only teach it as well as I receive it from my Savior.