Rejoicing in Her Gain

Two days ago marked the anniversary of Heather's death and entrance into a new life. With the busyness of life I haven't had the time to write out my thoughts and feelings until now. It feels good to sit down and start writing, bringing clarity for myself and in some small way honoring the incredible woman that she was...is.

The morning of her passing anniversary (why don't we have a word for that in our language?) I read from a devotional that was recently given to me. The dated entry challenged the reader to thank God for our trials. I pondered this through my tears for a few minutes that early morning at my kitchen table. Would God really ask me to thank Him for Heather's death and all the grief it caused? Knowing that the author of that devotional could never know each and every situation the reader was encountering on a particular day I did not want to read into what is not there. Does scripture ask that of us?

From what I know of Him, He chooses to weep with us when we weep (John 11). From what I know of heaven, it is an amazing awesome place beyond words of anyone who has seen it can accurately describe (Rev.). From what I know of Heather, she is there right now (John 5:24). I grieve my loss but rejoice in her gain. I also grieve not as one who has no hope of seeing her again, but as one who has the hope of heaven. And I look forward to hearing her laugh once again on the other side of heaven.

Two years ago I was not at this place. The pain is still acute but I'm able to see more clearly past my loss into her gain. I can't understand God's economy in these things nor will I try to defend Him and His ways. All I can do is look to the hope set before us and do my best to honor her life by living each day I receive to the fullest just as she did.

John 5:24 "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life."