The Greatest Joys of Mothering

               “I can’t stand it anymore,” my eldest son suddenly appeared by my side, “My tummy hurts and I’m homesick.”

                After some inquiry I gathered that he was nervous about our upcoming move. We snuggled on the couch while I shot up prayers for guidance.  I shared Philippians 4:6, 7 with him explaining that God doesn’t want him to be full of worry and instead wants to give him peace.   We prayed together and then something wonderful happened… my son suggested we get out his Bible and read.  This is the first time I’ve witnessed him turning to God’s words of love for us for comfort. 

                We have read the Bible to our kids since they were babies. Sometimes in spurts through the years when this happens every night.  Other seasons, like more recently with our temporary move in between houses, I’ve let the busyness and fatigue excuse the interruption in routine.  So when my son suggested we get out his Bible I couldn’t say, to my shame, that it is because it is what we do every night.  But even in my lapse of discipline God graciously showed me that He is at work.  Even where I fall short with my children He loves them more than I do and continues to work.

                Thing One and I sat down and opened up his little brothers’ Jesus Storybook Bible (which is the BEST children’s Bible out there in my humble opinion).  I had actually already read to the younger two earlier so I knew what story was coming.  I explained that even though we didn’t have his regular Bible handy , the story in this one was perfect.  It was the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus reminds us that He will take care of all our needs, our only job is to seek Him first.  Thing One and I both giggled over the illustration of the bird pushing a shopping cart.  I marveled once again at how often God speaks to me, and now my children, in our regular daily reading – just what we both needed to hear. I delighted watching God do for my son what He so often does for me in this manner.

                Thing One asked to show me something else in the Storybook Bible.  He flipped right over to Psalm 23, written in perfect kid language.  He told me about the first time Dad had read that to him years before and he realized that God is always with him.  Thing One asked to underline it and we took out a card for him to copy the verses on.  He folded it up and put it in his coat pocket so he would always have it with him.  He is so precious! J

                Later when I tucked him in he said to me, “Mom, you might not know this about me but I’m kind of shy.” I mostly hid the smile on my lips and replied, “Yeah, I kind of know that about you, buddy.”  He replied, “And when you read that verse about not worrying (Phil. 4:6, 7) it kind of made my heart cry.”  I explained that when God tells me just what I needed to hear it makes my heart cry a little too.  It is because I know He is real and loves me and is speaking right to me through His Words of love.

                 For years my husband and I have prayed for our sons, read scripture to them, poured over parenting books, failed to apply them perfectly, modeled repentance and forgiveness, explained the Gospel to them in many different ways, led them in prayers of surrendering their lives to the Lord, and, yes, read the Bible to them almost nightly. As parents you do what you think is best with God’s help and guidance all the while knowing so often your attempts fall short.  But still you  pray that one day your kids will get it, will really Know Him and understand” His wonderful,  Never stopping, Never Giving up,  Unbreaking, Always and Forever love” – DESPITE all the times you fail to model it perfectly for them. (Sally-Lloyd Jones, Storybook Bible).

                That quiet evening a few weeks ago in the living room of our temporary little lake home, God graciously revealed to me that He is answering all those prayers.  He is leading my son into a real relationship with Him.  He is helping him understand as much as a little man can, that He is real and His Words of love are for him.  This is truly one of my greatest joys in mothering.

  I don’t know why I get to do this, why I get to be anyone’s mom, or lead anyone to the Lord, or disciple any of their hearts in how to walk with Him.  But I delight in it and I am blessed by His gracious work in and through me.  All of it evidence of ”His wonderful,  Never stopping, Never Giving up,  Unbreaking, Always and Forever love”  for us all. 

On Missionary Mothering

Two weeks ago we had our last NavNite (our weekly large group meeting on campus).  Sixteen years of these weekly meetings, some years never missing one, other years with babies and toddlers, hardly attending at all.  These meetings are not the heart of what we do on campus but they are one more of the "lasts" that my heart is taking time to embrace and close the door on.

Needless to say it was an emotional night.  Hubby and I were given time to share our final thoughts - in a funny way it felt like a backwards memorial service.  (We literally declined to select the worship songs for the night!)  As the evening played out a few men and women shared a prepared highlights of interactions with us through the years.  After this time anyone in the audience of 75(???) students or so was welcomed to share funny stories or things they learned from us. Lots of laughter and trickling tears, just as the evening should be.

But what also unfolded that evening was reflective of my current reality of life as a mommy missionary. So many men had countless stories to tell of Jeff.  One after another and another and another they shared.  Sitting up front I started to squirm a little inside.  Of course I was proud of my husband and enjoyed in his moment to shine.  But it was plain for everyone to see that not as many women knew me.  Not as many women had funny stories to share.  Not as many women were discipled by or traveled with or laughed late into the night with me.  Why?  Because I wasn't there.

I wasn't there because I was at home.  With my kids. While they need me at home my first ministry is to them.  And to my husband, enabling him to go outside our home. Most days are full of life and good things, but not much time on campus doing "formal ministry". For me this meant that I didn't have 30 women stand up telling funny stories about me after seven years of ministry here. I had to ask myself if that was "o.k."

As I reflected on the evening I thought, Would I change anything about where I spent my time? No,  I wouldn't.  Sure I would have liked more women to know me.  To see I can be crazy too, just like the handsome man next to me.  And to go deeper into the Word with them.  But wouldn't it be sad if tonight all these women knew me but my kids didn't?  I would have failed.

Don't get me wrong, I did do ministry outside my home. My husband has faithfully freed me up weekly to lead Bible studies, workshops or evangelism.  I am very grateful for his willingness to give me these opportunities. Through the years I went deeper with a few women;  whether we were meeting for formal training or just doing life together (I've dragged more than one to grocery shop with me!).  And other times I've invited women into our home opening the Bible together or just cleaning windows or folding laundry while we talk.

And several gals did share that night.  One woman in particular made my heart sing.  Not because she praised me, but because of what God showed me through her generous words. She noted that in college women are focused on preparing for a career (as they should be) but zero time is spent preparing for marriage and mothering.  By my absence I was modeling what they needed to "hear" about these roles.  What no other voice was saying. Your time at home as a mom is a worthy investment and shouldn't be looked down on as less important. She reminded me that the husband in Proverbs 31 is able to be at the gate because he has a good wife at home keeping things going. 

Besides how to love Jesus, this is my biggest burden to pass onto women: loving their husbands and their children well, with purpose and lasting impact. Sometimes this means getting a sitter and showing up. Often though when they are little, it means staying back.   I never gave a NavNite talk or workshop on the subject but somehow God got it across without any "formal ministry" happening.

God surprised me that night by showing me all that He was doing when I wasn't even showing up for "ministry" in my mind. He revealed to me that when I do what He is asks of me, He will bless my absence as much as my presence.  He will reap where I didn't even think I had sown.  And really that is how it should be, isn't it? We both know WHO deserves all the glory and praise for anything good we get to join Him in doing.

As we say goodbye to seven years at this university I pray God will do the same thing again.  I pray He will use our absence as much as our presence and continue on the work He privileged us to be a part of for this season. I have full confidence in the staff team we are leaving behind and I know He will continue to use them in awesome ways once we get out of the way!!! :)

 






                      

Welcome to our Fifth Season of the Year, "Spring-ter"

      We had 2 1/2 snow days in a tow last week. Thing 1 came up with the term 'Spring-Ter" for the season of weather we are in.
       My boys favorite past time was clearly throwing snow balls at me. When did they get so fast and hard to hit???
      Included in the photos are a few shots if our temporary home. It is a cozy and comfortable 2 bedroom mobile home on the lake. I'm looking forward to sitting on that awesome deck when spring does decide to arrive. And I'm enjoying the bird houses filled with confused little chickadees wondering what all this white stuff is.  An the ducks now that the ice on the lake is gone.
         The Things love the little green playhouse that is on the property but the biggest draw is always trying to throw stuff into the lake ( which is a no no of course)! Mean mom always ruining their fun! Just trying to keep the rocks on the bank and off the sandy lake shore!

A Look at Islam and Christianity

      This was a great read! When I picked up, In the Land of Blue Burqas, I did not expect my faith, my understanding of marriage and ideas about Islam to be challenged.  I did not read it looking for deeper understanding of my Christianity separate from my American culture.  My views of forgiveness, responding to insult, prayer, judgment and the power of generosity were all challenged to stretch.  All of this happened during my journey into a town in Afghanistan through the author’s experience.  It is full of people I will never meet that are very different than me in almost every way. Despite our vast differences I learned so much from them as I read their stories and lined up their Islamic teachings next to the teachings of Jesus. 

        In essence reading this woman’s journey in faith, “I learned to see the Jesus I love reflected in the context of my Afghan neighbors’ culture and the simplicity of their questions.  I was challenged to differentiate between my American culture an the teachings of Jesus….I saw how revolutionary Jesus really is and how amazingly beautiful.” (p. 306)

        I’ll leave you with a few more quotes so you can see what I mean. If you decide to read it  I’d love to discuss it with anyone!

On American Faith:

“Conversations about God, faith and what it means to live submitted to Him is more common in Afghanistan than any place I’ve ever been…..For many Westerners, the question of who God is and what He wants for and from us is simply not relevant.  We are, after all, wealthy and busy.  For Afghans, it may be the most important question of all.” (p. 115, 116)

On Legalism:

“Sometimes we imagine that all that is good in God as revealed in Christ only belongs to those who’ve adopted a complete framework of theological beliefs.  We imagine that until a person understands and confesses belief that Jesus is God, that He died on the cross for our sins and rose the third day, the teachings and blessings of God remain inaccessible.  We sometimes make the mistake of viewing ourselves and others as either in or out, as either wearing our team’s jersey or not wearing it." (p. 132)

Ouch, that is totally me sometimes.

"How much better to remember that we are all on a journey.  Each time we see or hear or in some way grasp a teaching or revelation of Christ, we are drawn out of an area of darkness within our lives into His light and truth…..the good news is …we can receive His healing long before we understand who He is and why He came in the first place.” (p. 132)

Love it! The image of darkness to light describes all I hope to do when sharing about God’s love.

On Reaching others with Good News:

“I know I have no power to change an individual’s worldview.  I can’t compel people to accept my words.  The interpretation and reaction belongs to my listeners.  If I speak truth, that truth will resonate within them.  If they can receive it, they will.  If they can’t, they won’t. My responsibility is to follow Jesus and share the faith I have.  In my understanding, God is good and certainly not the author of death and destruction.” (p. 114)

     She was responding here to the Islamic belief that EVERYTHING that happens is the will of Allah.  If a husband beats his wife, it’s Allah’s will.  If a child dies in a bombing, Allah’s will.  Both scenarios are all too common in their daily lives. 

God Provides! - A qucik life and ministry update!

I'm sorry for the long absence for those of you who look here for frequent updates. I hope to do better in April.  :)

 March began with our whole family making the 13 hour trek to our future hometown in CO.  We spent a great week with some wonderful friends that know how to serve us to no end, watching our kids for endless hours, fed us and sheltered, and prayed for us in the stretching ups and downs of house hunting. What a blessing they are to us! We were excited to find the perfect home through a strange series of events only God could design on our last day there. The boys are extra excited it is a two-story home and comes with a giant playset that in Thing 2's words is "epic"!  God cares even about the little things (that are big to little Things)!

Since our return mid-March we have jumped right back into our best semester ever of ministry. What a wonderful way to end our 7 years of ministry here.  I am LOVING being on campus more as two of three kids are in school and time permits.  I'm writing and leading a study on Purity bright and early every Friday morning with about 20 - 25 awesome college gals and the best ever co-leader.  We are also packing up our entire house, minus all the stuff we are pitching, donating, and selling (ahhh that feels good!) and move out of our current home this weekend since it sold so quickly (PRAISE GOD!). 

We aren't saying goodbye to the prairie yet, that will come end of May. We will take up residence a bit south of town in a beautiful little two-bedroom lake home trailer.  It will be tight but it is a huge blessing to not have to pack up all our belongings twice as this home is fully furnished!  Our friends are so generous to let us stay there, another Provision from God for us!

Throw in the mix hubby and I speaking at Navs this week on dating (fun), a Nav women's retreat we planned and taught at this past weekend (amazing time with amazing women) and another upcoming teaching time for moms I need to finish writing! 

By God's pure grace I'm enjoying all these things and most-of-the-time I'm not really too stressed. I feel overwhelmed when I try to do it all on my own, but with the help and prayers of many friends it is all coming together. 

Thanks for praying for us!

Ruth Bell Graham

This is the updated version

One of my goals for growth in 2013 is to consume as much fiction as I do non-fiction. I recently finished an excellent biography about Ruth Bell Graham called, A Time for Remembering.  I found this little treasure tucked away in our church library, the binding glue disintegrating in my hands as yellow pages came loose in the reading.

 Reading about someone who has walked the road of faith before me and succeeded gives me hope that God can use me as well.  It also reminds me that no matter what trials I face, someone else has faced more of them!   Life is busy with an upcoming move, busy ministry and the never-ending but always rewarding job of parenting 3 little men.  After reading about Ruth’s life I am inspired by her resolve and courage to take on the challenges of life with a positive attitude. 

Ruth’s early years growing up in China as a missionaries’ daughter was full of hardship and loss, even bombings!  But these were all accepted as part of the deal and not paid much heed.  This is a provoking view of ministry to me in my cushy life at home in the States.  

 And later in her married years with a husband who was absent 6 months of the year she could have easily become bitter or depressed or both!  Yet she never wavered in her commitment to her marriage and family. She simply adapted and pressed on.

Wanna know the secret to her success?  I know I did. She kept her Bible open all the time and her children often found her early in the morning and late at night pouring over His Words to her.  Her children never heard her complain about Billy’s absences, and the moment he left they would begin to look forward to his return.  She immediately got busy with some project to pass the time and she spent many hours every day soaking up God’s words of love for her.  

This challenges me on so many levels.  When life is difficult I want to complain, sulk and pamper myself with distracting entertainment – like a good 6 hour marathon of Pride and Prejudice! There is nothing wrong with P and P, mind you (and a lot of things right about it!), and my husband actually thanks me for watching it WITHOUT him.  But if that is what I turn to for my solace over my Lord than my heart will be temporarily distracted but just as empty as when I began.

Ruth reminded me of something I already knew but need to keep working at – nothing satisfies like Him.  Movies and other distractions can entertain but they do not fill and they always come to an end.  God’s Word fills, never changes and never ends.  

Jeremiah has a few thoughts on this subject, “my people…have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.”(2:13) When I look to something or someone else to fill me before my Creator, I’m hewing out my own broken cisterns.   Compare that to Jesus’ promise to us, “whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty forever.  The water I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13,14)  I know it might sound crazy if you haven’t experienced it yourself, but God’s Word truly does satisfy my heart and fill it like nothing else can.

Reading about Ruth’s life and parenting years leaves me asking myself where is my life pointing my kids?  If my kids rise early or waken in the night where will they find me?  On FB or watching t.v.?  Again, don’t get me wrong, those things are okay and have their place.  But where do I want them to find me more often than not? Is my life pointing them to God? Or to media, Words with Friends or other entertainment?  It is a continual dance of adjusting, starts and stops, but I am slowly making progress.  I hope that like Ruth, my life will point them to Jesus, the only One Who will satisfy and meet our every need.

Photos from the Prairie... to keep the Grandmas Happy

This is how we spend a snow-day when school is cancelled.

I was amazed how quickly this doughnut disappeared...it lasted about 60 seconds!

Gorgeous country sunrise...I'm sure gonna miss this view from our back patio when we move!  But I'm happy for the new owners to enjoy it too. 

Our little "hockey" player missing his two front teeth!

Sledding down the neighbors' hill is always a good time!