Minoring in Geo Trax

This is how I spent a good part of my morning, after running T1 to pre-K and putting T-3 down for a nap. If I could have seen 10 years into my future while in college I would have minored in train track design. I would be getting more use out of that degree than my sociology - though I do consider my children quite their own people-group worthy of study and publishing.


This is what I thought about doing while I was doing the above. I did finally get to it while T2 was immersed in the land of Geo-Trax.

The following are snapshots of our Valentine's day. Note the shirts I made for the Things to wear - mine said "My husband is my hero." We all wore them to church that morning. Hubby had already surprised me with a date night Sat. night - sitter arranged and all! And I got a tulip from each of my men. And some special ones made by T1. Monday marked our 10th Likeaversary - the day hubby told me he first liked me...time flies!








We all went sledding on Sunday.

And we got to go snowmobiling thanks to some generous friends who came to give us rides. There are advantages to living in the country as we just stepped out our back door to a world of fun. It was my first time and I had a blast!

40ish Day Challenge

Currently all of our student friends that are in a Bible study are working through the 40 Day Challenge. Basically it is a reading plan for the next 40 days that takes about 30 minutes a day - though it always takes me longer. Sometimes it is due to my lack of caffeine and subsequent ability to focus. Sometimes it is because I grabbed my Amplified Bible and it has a lot more words in it than others (but I just LOVE words so the more the merrier). Sometimes it is just that I have the whole morning to pick it apart and get something more meaningful than a cursory glance and check off the to-do list allows. Like this morning thanks to my wonderful husband who has taken the kids as he does for a few hours each week so I can get on campus, work on BS, have a quiet time, do things that recharge me (like writing!).

This morning it took me about an hour and I know with my busy schedule (and when I say "busy" I'm referring more to the three little men in my life than anything I actually accomplish) it will take far more than 40 days to accomplish.

As you read through the passage you are supposed to answer two questions:
1) Who is Jesus? 2) What does He want me to do? Simple enough.
So without further ado (adu - no - adieu - nope...sorry my spelling is failing me)...
Mark 10- 12
Who is Jesus? (my limited lens, not necessarily theologically accurate)
- Popular teacher among the common people like you and me
- Unpopular teacher among the teachers
- Cuts to the heart of the issue ("'because you know so little of the meaning of love...'"(10:5 - Phillips)
- Loves little children more than "important" people who think He is important (10:14)
- Son of Man sent to suffer, die, rise again (10:34)
- Came to "serve and give His life to set many others free" (10:45)
- Even He got a little cranky when He missed His afternoon snack - this is someone I can relate to! (11:14)
- Zealous over keeping holy things/places holy (11:15)
- Encourager to men to have faith and believe and act on our belief (11:21)
- Wise in dealing with the opposition(11:29)
- Saw through the hypocrisy of others (12:15)
- Patient Teacher and corrector of the Truth (12:24)
- Doesn't tolerate religious hypocrites (12:43)
- Notices the sacrifices of others (12:43)

What does He want me to do?- Really LOVE those around me, beginning with my husband (this LOVE has nothing to do with my roller coaster emotions)
- Love and bless the children in my life in His name - welcome them into "busy and important" life by choosing them over the busy and important adults in my life
- Love Him more than any possession
- Understand who He is - the Son of God - and why He came - to save me(10:32)
- Become a servant rather than demanding to be served
- If it is Holy, keep it Holy (11:17)
- Have faith, pray big, and believe it will happen (11:22)
- Love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength (12:30)
- And my neighbor as well as I love myself (12:31)
- Don't use religion for my own social gain (12:38)
- Give generously remembering generosity is measured by sacrifice, not by dollar amount.
- Praise others when they do the above rather than myself.

Most of our students are really enjoying the 40 Day Challenge. It is a great tool for helping us all get back in the habit of spending time with Him every day. What about you? What have you been reading lately? I'd love to learn from you.

Hot Cocoa, Please - hold the mushrooms

I'm sitting on my livingroom floor with clean laundry all around me. the older two things are finishing up their hot cocoa, T2 told me he wanted his without "mushrooms". I just got a text from hubby doing evangelism with students telling me that someone accepted Christ today. Yippee! Even though I felt a bit envious with my less than glamorous to-do list here - I still felt a part of it knowing I had just prayed for someone to come to know His love today. Since I have sat down to write this I have gotten one phone call, searched for a pair of dry gloves for T1 to wear outside, T3 has woken up and T2 is chattering on with 1/5th of my attention. Sigh - this is probably why I don't blog more - but is an accurate glimpse of my day. Best get to that laundry - guess T3 will be "helping" me instead of me getting it done real quick before he wakes up.

c-ya

Things!

Thing 3 loves to watch brothers play outside and can't wait for his turn!

No this isn't our newest pet!!! But it was hubby's highlight from our family day last week - watching T1 hold it without being afraid. After all the chaos of getting the house ready to sell on top of a busy ministry schedule - we took a day just to be together. We had tons of fun at the 3 story kids science museum. The water room was the most popular of all.





Thing 1 actually fell asleep on the floor while warming up after a bath...I came down to see what was taking him so long and found him snuggled in for a nap!


Now that I'm 10 months old I don't really want to sit still and smile for a photo! So big so fast! He has been doing some signs for about 2 months now I think - it is all a blur. With the first bite of veggies he frantically signs "all done!" Hmmm, I think we taught him to "talk" a little too early!

Perfectly Perfect

A little over a week ago an unexpected package came in the mail. The return address warned me to not open it with abandon on the spur of the moment but to wait until I had time to privately engage with whatever lay inside. When I finally did sit alone in our office and slit open the envelope from Heather's mom I felt a mixture of emotions over the recipe book lovingly compiled by Heather's friends.

When I knew Heather the most - and by "the most" I mean comparatively to all the years of our friendship - hat would be the year that Hubby and I lived with her and her hubby. Heather was not the gourmet chef that she had become while living in NM. She could cook delicious meals, there was no denying, yet with our busy schedules we both reveled in sharing those duties, planning our weekly menu together and each only cooking a few times a week. At the time they were in the process of adopting their first child and she was working more than full-time as a therapist. When we moved in and I started cooking her husband was grateful to be off his steady diet of frozen pizzas as Heather often worked late. So it was with a little bit of a smile that I read these cherished recipes (some of which I was honored to recognize from my own recipe box) and imagined her throwing herself into them with the same zest and abandon she did any project she put her mind too.

I think I made it to the chick peas before the first tears started to fall. They were in the listed ingredients for basil hummus - the first recipe of the book. Her friends thoughfully filled in little side stories with each recipe and precious, precious photos of Heather with her children and friends. I sat weeping and reading it cover to cover before I could somewhat move forward with life and the rest of the scheduled activities for the day.

Lately I've noticed that when I revisit that place of grief with abandon, not just sideways glances as I distract my heart with the busyness of the day, it subconsciously puts me in an insecure and fearful place in my heart. I'm faced with the frailty of my own life and those I hold dear. I can't ignore how very little control I hold over keeping all that I love alive and well. The words from I novel I recently read echo in the background of my heart, something along the lines of, "...life is about change, it is like a river always moving forward, you can't stop it, you just have to change and bend with it." But what if life is so perfectly perfect you don't want it to change? And yet you know the futility of trying to stop it?

I know I must daily surrender my fear for the health and safety of my loved ones and consciously move forward to a place of peaceful abandon. And I know that even if I don't agree on what their number of days on this earth should be, God's Word says He already knows them. And I know that because of Jesus' death and resurrection the next life will be so so so much more perfectly perfect with no sickness, no death to interrupt and snatch away at our happiness. Yet here we are presently living in a state of flux, grasping at all the joy and happiness we can squeeze out of this life and yet living for the Day when we will strain no longer and enter into His Paradise.

I smile knowing she is already there, reveling in it. And I'm so grateful for all the time I did have with her that year that I knew her "the most" of all our years of friendship, though I hardly appreciated them then as I do now. As I look through the beautiful stories and pictures I'm so thankful for those who lovingly put this book together. And if I can stop crying over the chick peas I might actually get dinner made...or we might just have a frozen pizza. Either way, I think I'm honoring her memory. :)

Why? Why? Why?

Why haven't I blogged in over a month?
- ohhhh, just little THINGS like - the holidays, traveling, Thing 3 getting into everything all day long, getting our house ready to sell (and my closets look awesome BTW and I actually drag my friends into my bedroom these days to show them and one actually asked if I redecorated - no I just cleaned HA!), hosting, hosting, hosting ministry, friends, Bible studies...no reason really!

Why don't I work out more?
- ohhh, just that this is what happens when I was on my treadmill this morning and Thing 1 was home for a snow day and apparently decided he was missing art class at Pre-K so he made his little brother into his art project.

Why do I LOVE Crayola?
- ohhhhh, just Because they invented washable markers. And why am I patting myself on the back - somehow I didn't lose my cool, just let them clean it up and I had the foresight to purge my house of almost all permanent markers awhile ago. Must have been the Holy Spirit that made me do that so I didn't ring their little necks today!

Why do I LOVE LOVE LOVE my husband?
- ohhh, just because after I texted him a pic of Thing 2 with the caption of "And how is YOUR day going?" he called me and asked to take us all to Culvers for lunch. YAY for husbands who love their wives so well - and I could go guilt free b/c I worked out! :)






We crammed tons of students into our house once again for the annual sled-fest last monday. A good time, many games and only two knee injuries were had by all!

Funny "Things"

It's all over now - Thing 3 pulled himself up to the coffee table this morning...and what did he grab just before falling on his little rear? The remote control of course!

Yesterday T1 told me that I need to go get my hair done so I can look pretty again. HMMM. In his defence I had just cut his and hubby's hair and told him how handsome he looked. I think spending a few hours at the beauty salon sitting around reading magazines sounds just fine!

When we were leaving to go see Santa at the local Lewis store T2 exclaimed, "But Mom, why are we going to the North Pole?"

I've been reading Jigsaw Jones mystery books to the Things lately. As we drove by our church they noticed that the sign was painted brown. T2 said, "We have a mystery to solve!" T1 "Yeah, we need to find out who has brown paint!"

They recently requested to put out carrots for the reindeer along with cookies for Santa - I'm going to race hubby for the cookies!

Speaking of cookies, Rose, here is the Molasses Cookie Recipe you asked for. Have fun!
1/2 c softened butter
1/2 c shortening
1 1/2 c sugar, plus more for garnish
1/2 c dark molasses
2 eggs, lightly beaten
4 c flour
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/4 tsp baking soda
2 1/4 tsp ground ginger
1 1/2 tsp ground cloves
1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

Mix butter and shortening ( or just use butter flavored Crisco like I did). Add sugar and beat until light and fluffy - about 3 min. Mix in molasses and eggs. In another bowl mix dry ingredients and then mix all together. Roll 1 1/2" balls and dip tops in sugar. Place on greased (I never grease mine) sheets and bake at 350 for 11 min. DON'T OVERBAKE or they won't be chewy inside. Makes about 4 dozen.

Some Fun Pics

Finally an update! We spent a week around Halloween with my best friend in MO and then she and her family came up to stay with us for Thanksgiving. Along with a last minute addition of some new -to - town friends from NY. We had 6 adults and 7 kids! It was pretty wild but lots of fun. Needless to say there hasn't been a lot of time for blogging. And even as I write this T3 is crying to be picked up, T2 is running around mostly naked and playing the bongo and T1 is zooming things across the laminate floor. Sigh...never a dull moment. So here are some pics of our life lately. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving as well!

The running joke is that hubby and my best friend's hubby look a lot alike so when we were black friday shopping (is it called black friday b/c it is still dark out when your best friend drags you out of bed to go?) anyways, we picked out matching shirts for them. How cute!!! J/K we know they will never ever wear them at the same time again, they just put them on as a joke to humor us.

Best friend's hubby making the all important snicker apple salad -a last minute addition to our Thanksgiving feast and yet another way to ruin something perfectly healthy but oh-so-good. This will forever be remembered as the Thanksgiving of the massive amount of mashed potatoes. I just threw out the last 20 cups of it today!



Thing 1 at his annual Thanksgiving performance with his Pre-K class.

Sitting up in the bath now - soooo much fun!

Taking the kiddos to the park to run off some turkey.



Rub a dub dub, 3 Things in the tub!

Thing 3 sporting his new sweater that my mom made - thanks Grandma!


And the new hat I finally finished!



Visiting Santa at Lewis also means seeing our friend and local pharmacist! Thing 1 wanted to know why her husband wasn't there at work with her.

A VERY quick stop outside in the freezing cold to see Santa's reindeer.




Making molasses cookies with the Things. I only make these at Christmas time and the boys helped roll the balls this year - a new skill for Thing 2. I was very proud of him. They also remind me of the great throw up Christmas Eve two years ago with T2....but we will save that story for another day.

The Tilling Years

Once a month I get an alumni magazine from Westmont College. The first thing I do is flip to the back where it lists who has gotten married to who(m?)(so now you know, I wasn't an English major), and who has had a baby etc. for each graduating class. Even with such a small college I rarely recognize the names. It also lists where my fellow alumni are working and highlights some of the outstanding things some of them are doing.
Yesterday afternoon as I sat on a little patch of sun in my living room floor for the blessed "nap/video/little bit of sanity" period of the day - for some reason I thought about all those incredible things people my age are accomplishing. Then I looked at myself with my Bible and journal in my lap and still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes from my 20 winks, and couldn't help but ask, "What am I doing?". Feeling like I'm not accomplishing much with my domestic duties I closed my eyes in prayer and sensed Him say, "These are the tilling years." The picture I got was that the soil has to be prepared before it can reap a harvest.
I'm not only being tilled myself through the character it takes to discipline and train three little men - I'm tilling the soil of their hearts as well. It is my great aspiration that God reaps a great harvest in their lives when they grow up to serve Him.
So right now, even though my job is at it's best "low profile" and seems unimpressive, it was good to remember that it is NOT unimportant. I won't make the cover of any alumni magazine - probably not even a little blip - after all, how exciting would it be to read, "Housewife made white chili soup (Thanks, Jess for the fab recipe)for dinner, folded three loads of laundry and read two chapters of Jigsaw Jones Mysteries to 3 and 5 year old"? - Not very.
At times my job seems monotonous - just as I'm sure a farmer feels plowing up row after row. But its simplicity lends itself to the peaceful rhythm that fills my day (ha! what planet am I on - what peace? what rhythm? with three boys?). Okay - so it might not appear that way on the surface, but in my heart I'm at peace - not stressed or rushed unless I make myself be by cramming too much in for one day. After all, what is stressful about pressing, "cold, heavy cycle, no extra rinse"?
It is the very simplicity of my role that I think will plow the deepest furrows in the souls of these three little men I've been entrusted to raise. They can rely on me to do what I need to give them a healthy home life - including, food, clean clothing and a stable, loving marriage to raise them up under.
The season for other pursuits outside my home will come all too quickly. In fact just today as I ate lunch with Thing 1 while eyeing up my novel, it occurred to me, I don't have many lunches left with him. Next year he will be at school all day and will be eating with his friends. The novel can wait (until he's tucked in bed at least) for now, I'm tilling the soil. "So, did anything silly happen today at Pre-K?"

Would somebody please...

Would somebody please invent a washer that washes and drys all in one? I long for the day that I can start my laundry in the morning and come home to it already dry? I've wanted one of these for years!

After five years of parenting under my belt I'm adding one important improvement to my already great idea (if I can say so myself, and I just did). This super washer and dryer in one also needs to be able to magically remove things. No, I'm not talking stains - that is too easy. I want it to remove things that I didn't know were there like pea rocks, gum, candy, and stickers stuck on soccer shirts that leave a sticky residue for a decade or two. Even more importantly it should remove the things I know are there but cross my fingers and select "Super Plus Super Dee Duper Wash" as I throw it in and hope I don't see it again like: big chunks of throw up all over my 3-year-old's comforter, or the latest causality from a diaper that didn't live up to the manufacturer's promise.

I'm willing to pay big money for such an item. So all those engineer's out there looking for a great idea here is your golden ticket - free of charge. And I'll be your first customer!

Things that Bless Me

My Bible study. These ladies faithfully dig into the Word and come prepared to share what they learned and their lives as well every time we meet. I'm so blessed to be privy to their praises, new-found knowledge from His Word, and prayer requests. I'm doubly blessed to get to share all of the above with them as well. And I'm triply blessed by the college ladies who faithfully come and watch all our wiggly, fussy, energetic kiddos in a basement for 2 hours with little or no escape!

How every time T2 takes off his socks he has to "get the gunkies out" from between his toes. He can't settle in for some good thumb and blankie time without doing that first.

How my boys love to eat almonds - and fruit - and whole wheat pancakes! With all the other junk I feed them it is nice to know they will eat healthy things too.

How my husband hasn't said anything about the 6 loads of laundry that have been waiting to be folded in the mudroom all week.

The steak I was able to pull out of our freezer when I realized at noon I had nothing planned for dinner - some friends of our blessed us with a gift of a LOT of meat over a year ago and we are just now getting to the end of it.

How my boys like to wear their clothes backwards - why not?!

T3 smiling up at me - any time, day or middle of the night.

My best friend taking cute pics of my kiddos.

Now it's your turn - what blesses you?!

Peace

AS I mentioned in my last post, I've been working my way through John. This morning as I read through Jesus' first encounters with those He loved after His resurrection a few things stood out to me.
Here the disciples are "hiding out" so to speak for fear of the Jews, even though just that morning Mary saw Jesus and told them that He had risen. They were still trapped in their fear probably wondering what to do with this astonishing news. And that is where Jesus comes to them, right where they are "stuck". And that is where Jesus comes to all of us, right where to where our fears and sorrows, regrets and whatever else have driven us into hiding.
And His first words to them in that fearful secluded place? "PEACE". Perhaps that was another way of just saying "Hello" in those days, I haven't read up on my Jewish history. But nonetheless, He knows just what they need to hear. And then after showing them His pierced Hands and Side, He gives them a new purpose and vision, "Just as the Father Has sent Me forth, so I am sending you." And He gives them the gift of His Spirit.
I love how Jesus appears in our lives in our darkest hours. He calms our fears with words of Peace. He sets us on a new course with vision and purpose. And He enables us to fulfill that purpose with His Holy Spirit. Thank You, Abba, for Your Amazing ways!

Finding a "Healthy Whole"

"Simply being alive became holy to me." Jerry Sittser (A Grace Disguised, How the Soul Grows Through Loss).

A friend and mentor recommended this book after Heather passed away. I've been slowly working my way through it as I have felt able. It is not a topic that I look forward to digesting, but it is necessary all the same. So far his book has been full of great insights that make me pause and nod and help me put words to what I'm experiencing, whether consciously or unconsciously.

I've written before about how much more sacred the little things of life have become, just stopping to appreciate life itself. This continues to be true. I find myself lingering a little longer over my baby's crib, just enjoying watching him smile (or cry in protest of the impending nap) up at me. I snuggle my boys a little bit more when I can manage to slow them down (or slow myself down) long enough to do so. I'm truly grateful, and I mean GRATEFUL, when we have safely traveled home after a long trip.

Every day is a gift. It seems so glib and cliche to write, but it is truly how I feel. And just as Sittser explains, the everyday things of life become truly meaningful.

I'm slowly making my way through another book, the account of Jesus' life from a man who knew Him personally, the Apostle John. John's account reminds me of another truth that Sittser touches on. Chapter nineteen of John's book describes the gory and unjust murder of Jesus as John and His loved ones looked on. And Chapter 20 reveals the astonishing joy they then subsequently experienced upon His Resurrection. What strikes me is that those who rejoiced in chapter 20 could have never experienced that same joy had they not endured the agony of chapter 19.

Sittser describes how our sorrows give birth to greater joys when he writes, "The soul is elastic, like a balloon. It can grow larger through suffering...once enlarged, the soul is also capable of experiencing greater joy, strength, peace, and love." (p.54) He also explains the sad irony that those who we would want to share our growth from these devastations with the most are the ones that we lost.

Even as I write this I'm afraid that it will sound like in some sick sort of way I'm benefiting from Heather's death or that I'm experiencing joy out of it. Far from it. I still HATE HATE HATE that she died. I still want to wake up and have it all be a bad dream. I still want to call her on the phone for one of our monthly hour long chats and catch up on all that we can before our kids totally lose it in the background. But since I can't go back to those days I have to somehow move forward. And as I move forward I'm finding that my soul which is raw from her loss is now so much more sensitive to the joys of life as well.

Sittser describes how he has moved forward after the loss of his wife, mother and young daughter to a drunk driver, "Loss requires that we live in a delicate tension. We must mourn, but we must go on living...The sorrow I feel has not disappeared but it has integrated into my life as a painful part of a healthy whole." (p.57).

I'm trying to find that "healthy whole" one day at a time. And I'm so grateful to have the gift of friends who knew and loved Heather, and those who didn't, to process through this unwanted, unexpected, but nonetheless soul changing loss with.

Human Trafficking, Fall Conf. and FL

Highlights from the last few weeks:

We completed a week of Human Trafficking awareness with a few other ministries on campus. This included display tables in the Union, a guest speaker, a movie showing, and some evangelism training.
Before this event I knew very little about human trafficking. It seemed like something that happened on the other side of the world. I was shocked to learn that it happens in our very own state, maybe even in our own quaint little town. It is estimated that 200 women are bussed in every year and forced into prostitution at the various hunting lodges during pheasant hunting season.
The Mall of America is considered "the factory" where many disadvantaged youth are lured in with the promise of help. Another way they get girls is by posing as a modeling agency and then forcing them into the porn industry. America is the biggest importer of porn which more often than not uses women and children who are there against their will.
I was left with the question, what can I do? This problem is so big and it is hard to come up with tangible things that one stay-at-home mom can actually do to make a difference. One small thing we decided we can do is no longer purchase coffee or chocolate that is not Fair Trade (for a list of companies click on highlighted words). Most of the coffee and cocoa beans imported are harvested by enslaved children. These children aren't just forced to work, they are often abused, molested and raped.
I used to think that fair trade just meant the workers were paid a fare wage, now I know there is much more to it. My favorite coffee stop, Starbucks, isn't 100% fair trade but from what I gather I think they are at least working on it which is more than many companies are willing to do.


The Gang from SDSU


Getting ready for the annual Ultimate Frisbee Tourney
Oct. 23 - 25 was our annual fall conference. It was at a new location this year to accommodate the growing number of students. I think (but my mommy brain is fuzzy so don't hold me to it) that about 400 people were there. Maybe more? It is always interesting having kids at a conference, waiting in lines for meals, late bedtimes, sleeping together (when they actually did sleep), etc. On the whole I was glad for a few good conversations that I had with some people, but that is about all I think I can expect to get out of a conference in this season of life. And I'm okay with that. I wonder what my kids will remember from these times. I hope they have fond memories as they look back on these experiences. I worry that they feel looked over or I'm too tired and stretched to really be meeting all their needs the way I "should". I don't really think that is the case, that is just what I get anxious about when my guard is down. It was a lot of fun housing with some good friends and their kids and we had extra hands helping us with the kiddos which was a real blessing! I was especially encouraged to hear from one woman that she is considering going overseas next summer after hearing about opportunities at our conference.

Once we returned home we had about 2 days and 10 loads of laundry (seriously, where does it all come from?) before heading off to MO. Hubby was going to be at another conference out of state so he was kind enough to drop me off at my best friends for a visit and fly out from there. Single parenting is so much easier when you have other kids and adults around! We had a wonderful time and I think hubby did too (how could you not in FL?).

Alas, it is always soooo good to be home again. I'm so thankful for safe travels, a van that got us there and back, and a cozy home of our own. I feel really out of touch with my everyday life and things on campus but that will all come back into focus soon enough.

Spiderman and Daddy

Yesterday T2 (3.5) commiserated that he didn't want to stay home with me, he wanted dad to stay home with him. I commented that someday he will grow up to be a daddy and have to go to work to make money to buy bananas (he was eating a banana at the time). He said, "will I work with Daddy?"
"Maybe, it depends on what you do."
"I want to be a super-hero. I want to be Spiderman, but I don't know how to spin webs. I'll have to go to school."
Well, if he grows up to be like his dad, he'll get half his wish...the super hero part.