The Greatest Joys of Mothering

               “I can’t stand it anymore,” my eldest son suddenly appeared by my side, “My tummy hurts and I’m homesick.”

                After some inquiry I gathered that he was nervous about our upcoming move. We snuggled on the couch while I shot up prayers for guidance.  I shared Philippians 4:6, 7 with him explaining that God doesn’t want him to be full of worry and instead wants to give him peace.   We prayed together and then something wonderful happened… my son suggested we get out his Bible and read.  This is the first time I’ve witnessed him turning to God’s words of love for us for comfort. 

                We have read the Bible to our kids since they were babies. Sometimes in spurts through the years when this happens every night.  Other seasons, like more recently with our temporary move in between houses, I’ve let the busyness and fatigue excuse the interruption in routine.  So when my son suggested we get out his Bible I couldn’t say, to my shame, that it is because it is what we do every night.  But even in my lapse of discipline God graciously showed me that He is at work.  Even where I fall short with my children He loves them more than I do and continues to work.

                Thing One and I sat down and opened up his little brothers’ Jesus Storybook Bible (which is the BEST children’s Bible out there in my humble opinion).  I had actually already read to the younger two earlier so I knew what story was coming.  I explained that even though we didn’t have his regular Bible handy , the story in this one was perfect.  It was the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus reminds us that He will take care of all our needs, our only job is to seek Him first.  Thing One and I both giggled over the illustration of the bird pushing a shopping cart.  I marveled once again at how often God speaks to me, and now my children, in our regular daily reading – just what we both needed to hear. I delighted watching God do for my son what He so often does for me in this manner.

                Thing One asked to show me something else in the Storybook Bible.  He flipped right over to Psalm 23, written in perfect kid language.  He told me about the first time Dad had read that to him years before and he realized that God is always with him.  Thing One asked to underline it and we took out a card for him to copy the verses on.  He folded it up and put it in his coat pocket so he would always have it with him.  He is so precious! J

                Later when I tucked him in he said to me, “Mom, you might not know this about me but I’m kind of shy.” I mostly hid the smile on my lips and replied, “Yeah, I kind of know that about you, buddy.”  He replied, “And when you read that verse about not worrying (Phil. 4:6, 7) it kind of made my heart cry.”  I explained that when God tells me just what I needed to hear it makes my heart cry a little too.  It is because I know He is real and loves me and is speaking right to me through His Words of love.

                 For years my husband and I have prayed for our sons, read scripture to them, poured over parenting books, failed to apply them perfectly, modeled repentance and forgiveness, explained the Gospel to them in many different ways, led them in prayers of surrendering their lives to the Lord, and, yes, read the Bible to them almost nightly. As parents you do what you think is best with God’s help and guidance all the while knowing so often your attempts fall short.  But still you  pray that one day your kids will get it, will really Know Him and understand” His wonderful,  Never stopping, Never Giving up,  Unbreaking, Always and Forever love” – DESPITE all the times you fail to model it perfectly for them. (Sally-Lloyd Jones, Storybook Bible).

                That quiet evening a few weeks ago in the living room of our temporary little lake home, God graciously revealed to me that He is answering all those prayers.  He is leading my son into a real relationship with Him.  He is helping him understand as much as a little man can, that He is real and His Words of love are for him.  This is truly one of my greatest joys in mothering.

  I don’t know why I get to do this, why I get to be anyone’s mom, or lead anyone to the Lord, or disciple any of their hearts in how to walk with Him.  But I delight in it and I am blessed by His gracious work in and through me.  All of it evidence of ”His wonderful,  Never stopping, Never Giving up,  Unbreaking, Always and Forever love”  for us all. 

On Missionary Mothering

Two weeks ago we had our last NavNite (our weekly large group meeting on campus).  Sixteen years of these weekly meetings, some years never missing one, other years with babies and toddlers, hardly attending at all.  These meetings are not the heart of what we do on campus but they are one more of the "lasts" that my heart is taking time to embrace and close the door on.

Needless to say it was an emotional night.  Hubby and I were given time to share our final thoughts - in a funny way it felt like a backwards memorial service.  (We literally declined to select the worship songs for the night!)  As the evening played out a few men and women shared a prepared highlights of interactions with us through the years.  After this time anyone in the audience of 75(???) students or so was welcomed to share funny stories or things they learned from us. Lots of laughter and trickling tears, just as the evening should be.

But what also unfolded that evening was reflective of my current reality of life as a mommy missionary. So many men had countless stories to tell of Jeff.  One after another and another and another they shared.  Sitting up front I started to squirm a little inside.  Of course I was proud of my husband and enjoyed in his moment to shine.  But it was plain for everyone to see that not as many women knew me.  Not as many women had funny stories to share.  Not as many women were discipled by or traveled with or laughed late into the night with me.  Why?  Because I wasn't there.

I wasn't there because I was at home.  With my kids. While they need me at home my first ministry is to them.  And to my husband, enabling him to go outside our home. Most days are full of life and good things, but not much time on campus doing "formal ministry". For me this meant that I didn't have 30 women stand up telling funny stories about me after seven years of ministry here. I had to ask myself if that was "o.k."

As I reflected on the evening I thought, Would I change anything about where I spent my time? No,  I wouldn't.  Sure I would have liked more women to know me.  To see I can be crazy too, just like the handsome man next to me.  And to go deeper into the Word with them.  But wouldn't it be sad if tonight all these women knew me but my kids didn't?  I would have failed.

Don't get me wrong, I did do ministry outside my home. My husband has faithfully freed me up weekly to lead Bible studies, workshops or evangelism.  I am very grateful for his willingness to give me these opportunities. Through the years I went deeper with a few women;  whether we were meeting for formal training or just doing life together (I've dragged more than one to grocery shop with me!).  And other times I've invited women into our home opening the Bible together or just cleaning windows or folding laundry while we talk.

And several gals did share that night.  One woman in particular made my heart sing.  Not because she praised me, but because of what God showed me through her generous words. She noted that in college women are focused on preparing for a career (as they should be) but zero time is spent preparing for marriage and mothering.  By my absence I was modeling what they needed to "hear" about these roles.  What no other voice was saying. Your time at home as a mom is a worthy investment and shouldn't be looked down on as less important. She reminded me that the husband in Proverbs 31 is able to be at the gate because he has a good wife at home keeping things going. 

Besides how to love Jesus, this is my biggest burden to pass onto women: loving their husbands and their children well, with purpose and lasting impact. Sometimes this means getting a sitter and showing up. Often though when they are little, it means staying back.   I never gave a NavNite talk or workshop on the subject but somehow God got it across without any "formal ministry" happening.

God surprised me that night by showing me all that He was doing when I wasn't even showing up for "ministry" in my mind. He revealed to me that when I do what He is asks of me, He will bless my absence as much as my presence.  He will reap where I didn't even think I had sown.  And really that is how it should be, isn't it? We both know WHO deserves all the glory and praise for anything good we get to join Him in doing.

As we say goodbye to seven years at this university I pray God will do the same thing again.  I pray He will use our absence as much as our presence and continue on the work He privileged us to be a part of for this season. I have full confidence in the staff team we are leaving behind and I know He will continue to use them in awesome ways once we get out of the way!!! :)