Stop Holding On

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

O friend! You need to end it. He keeps teasing you along, popping back in just when you've begun to move on. You were looking soooo good - I could literally see the new life in you! And now what? I can tell he was here last night, his icy feel is still in the air. You are wilting all over again and it breaks my heart.

Can't you see his cold heart is going to kill all the growth you've made these past few weeks? I'm only telling you this as a friend because everyone else can see it but you. Just let him go once and for all. Let your bloom come back and breathe in the savory aroma of  BBQ. Oh Colorado, when will you finally break it off with winter for good?

Love,

Your faithful occupant and friend

"Scary" Things

Photo by Michelle Tresemer on Unsplash

Scary things my 3 Things have said to me:

1)    As he is coming out of the bathroom – “Mom! Want to see something crazy?!”

2)    “Yeah, I knew I wasn’t using my pre-frontal cortex, but I did it anyways!”

3)    “I want to be a bush pilot!”

4)    “How old do you have to be to skydive?”

5)    “I think I’m going to throw up” (Always in the car, in the grocery aisle, etc!)

6)    “Why is the carpet wet here?”

7)    Telling me about his glider flight, “and then the pilot told me to pull the red knob that disconnects us from the plane…”

 

 

And on another note, I’ll never forget when they are 12, 10 and 7 on this day I tried doing a homeschool lesson on Reformation Sunday. They misheard the speaker saying “95 Theses” for another similar sounding word that is just SO FUNNY (if you have the male chromosome) and that was the end of trying to teach them Protestant history for the day. Never a dull moment raising boys and I wouldn’t have it any other way! 

What are you Waiting For?

What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for things to get better? For those test results to come back all clear, that car to return your loved one safely home, the depression to lift, that relationship to be restored?

After a year of waiting here is what I think I know: It is that thing that taunts us to fear/complain/give up... that also challenges us to change. For so long I've wanted to worship the wrong Jesus. I want the Safe and Easy Jesus that keeps my world pain free and everyone around me healthy. But as long as I hold to that false idol I'm unable to grasp the real Jesus.

With each new trial God gently peels back my fingers to show that the control I thought I grasped was just empty air inside my fist. When I fix my gaze on Him my hand does not stay empty for long. His promises to be near fill them as I grasp the One who really is in control. The One who doesn't promise a worry free life, but promises to hold my hand through it all. 

I wonder if is this why Jesus said we are blessed when we are "poor in Spirit"? (umm, that doesn't sound blessed to me). Maybe what He meant in part is that when we realize we are all indeed poor in Spirit then we finally let go of the empty air and open our hands to Him. "…for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven."(Matthew 5:3)

I like the Message paraphrase because it leaves little room for my ego, "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule."

On paper and in public that is what I want with each passing year. I want more of God and less of me. Yet I sincerely wish I could get there without the trials. Looking back on a lot of waiting, surrendering, praying and trusting I know that without the trials I would never welcome the change. My fist would still be closed and possibly shaking His direction. And it would be empty. 

I think He is using the hard to unfold my fingers, not to be mean, but to fill them with Himself, the only One Who really satisfies. 

 No matter what you are waiting for today friend, I pray you know the One Who is there to hold your hand through it all. 

That's where my thinking stands today…but I'll keep you posted. ;)